The Nonviolent Communication (NVC) approach has an assumption to build on. It is the idea that it is easier to connect with people if we assume that everything people do, we do with the intention of trying to meet our
needs. When we don't understand someone's behavior, we can try to reach out to them by looking for what need they are trying to meet with their action.
In addition, we can use any judgments, threats and demands we hear as clues to what others need.
A further assumption is that the more we can put into words what we need without demanding anything at that moment, the easier it will be for the other to listen.
Once you have expressed what you feel and need, express what you want or hear from the other person. If they say no, it is because a yes does not meet their needs.
If you would like to know more about how you can be a third party when others are in conflict, take a look at our online mediation program here
Come watch the founder of Nonviolent Communication, Marshall Rosenberg mediate. Film plus exchange here