Shame in Conflict

Shame in Conflict

„Never do anything to avoid shame.“ (Marshall B. Rosenberg) This expression might seem absurd at first. Until we understand that our feelings of shame are a valuable indication of important human needs that we are struggling to meet. When we are in conflict, we refrain from asking for help in resolving it. Conflict is often seen as something we “should” be ashamed about being part of, a sign of failure. At least we should be able to deal with ourselves. The shame might be so big that people don’t ask for support, even if they trust that help from the outside could provide solutions to the conflict. In this training we will explore shame in order to support both ourselves and others with shameful conflicts.

We will use the Compass of Needs, that Liv has put together for that purpose, as well as other tools based on Nonviolent Communication. We will practice, through exercises and role-play how to handle shame in ourselves and others. The aim is to transform shame in order to reclaim power, choice, vulnerability and empathy.

A perfect training for anyone facing conflict in their life and work; coaches, counselors, NVC-trainers, and mediators.

What can you expect from the training?

– Bigger understanding shame and its effects on communication and conflict

– Tools to handle shame avoidance reactions: Withdrawal, Rebellion, Self-attack/guilt, Anger

– Practice in how to deal with others shame when they are in conflict

– Dealing with own shame (shame of not being able to attract and connect with people, being a perfectionist, over-achieving etc)

– Dealing with our own shame (in connection to others wanting your support in a conflict about shameful matter, shame over not succeeding, being successful etc.)

– Exercises to deepen one’s own vulnerability and authenticity, especially in conflict.

– Work on practical examples of the participants 

The seminar will be held in English and translated into German.

As prerequisites for participation, we would like you to have basic knowledge of Nonviolent communication.