We are all different. But also, similar. When we focus on the ways in which we are similar, it is easier to appreciate the differences. So, this approach is a fundamental part of conflict management. It is simple to do, but not always easy.
One way to deal with a conflict or a challenging situation is to look for the similarities.
A big advantage of seeing where I share the most human, feelings and needs with the person I conflict with is that it can make the differences less threatening or separating.
Human needs are a commonality we share with all people. Successful conflict management often happens when we have understood and acknowledged each other's needs. The conflict usually consists of disagreement on how to meet the needs, but we can still accept that someone has the needs and look for ways to meet as many needs as possible.
Do what you can to make the conversation about the conflict feel like an opportunity rather than a constraint. Remember that talking about conflicts is only one way to deal with them. Sometimes a conflict can be resolved by, for example, starting to work together on something and working towards a common goal. Again, we are all different. Some people prefer to talk even if it is uncomfortable while others want to do something else to deal with the situation.
We provide a deck of cards called Conversation Cards. The cards describe different steps to manage and resolve a conflict situation. You can find the cards here.
If you would like to know more about how you can be a third party when others are in conflict, take a look at our online mediation program here.