On a Tuesday afternoon a woman gets interrupted in a meeting. Six hours later she is still in it, and the word she reaches for was never hers to begin with. Robert Kegan and Lisa Feldman Barrett, read together, explain why – and what it takes to move from a socialized mind to a self-authoring one.

Fifty years ago, a psychologist in mediation rooms across the American South made a claim about feelings with no scientific backing at all. Now, brain research has started to show he was right, and what that means for how we build a world where more people's needs get met, peacefully.

NVC in 30 seconds: a theory about why we react the way we do, and four practical steps — observation, feeling, need, request — for clearer communication. But theory isn't the same as practice - think of this as an invitation to try it, not a manual to memorize.